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Suffering strikes us as fundamentally wrong. How many times have we
heard, "No one should have to suffer"?
People who suffer may ask, "Why do I have to suffer this way? Why
does God allow this?" The search for meaning in suffering leads
us to question everything. Many suffering people, in the secret
recesses of their hearts, have a need to forgive God for the tragedies in
their lives. Reconciliation, with other human beings and with God,
is an absolute prerequisite for a peaceful death.
So what can we do to help our terminally ill brothers and sisters live
fully to the very last? The most well-intentioned among us can
produce perfectly reasonable excuses to avoid the company of the
terminally ill. The real reason is fear and a sense of helplessness.
We're afraid of saying or doing he wrong thing or having nothing to offer.
Spending time with the terminally ill is love in action. It says,
"You are important. You are valued. You are worthy of my
time."
If we are representing the Church, visiting the terminally ill may involve
the sacrament of reconciliation and the Eucharist. However, try
spending some time connecting, one person to another. Remember, one
of the greatest sources of suffering during a grave illness is being the
recipient of care and feeling burdensome and useless. This despair
leads to a "death row" mentality, a place where suicide seems to
make perfect sense.
Standing by our brothers and sisters who experience intense suffering is
the simplest and most difficult thing we can ever do. It's simple
because all we have to do is show up. It's difficult because our
natural instinct is to run for our lives. Of all the people who loved
Jesus, there were few willing to stand at the foot of the cross. We
can easily believe we're just not strong enough to bear it. But it
doesn't take strong hearts to do this work; it builds strong hearts -- and
grace abounds!
We are the body of Christ. Our role in the life of the terminally
ill may be pastor, lay minister, family member, or friend and carrying out
these roles is important and meaningful.
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